The Trouble with #MeToo

#MeToo swept through my personal circle of friends a couple of weeks ago. At first, I was so happy to have some more transparency and openness around the widespread issue of sexual harassment and assault. I don’t know a single woman who has not felt that pit in her stomach due to the unwanted advances of someone.

In that way, I think that #MeToo is great, but it has some issues too.

I posted it. #MeToo. #MoreThanOnce. It’s not a good feeling, but seeing the support, both for my experience and the experiences of others, has been amazing. But then I got a Facebook message.

It was from another woman. It was an acquaintance that I hadn’t spoken to in several years, as happens with Facebook, asking a question. “What happened to you? #MeToo.”

It’s not that the question was malicious, but I got several versions of this same question over the following days. What happened? What’s your story?

It’s not any of your business.

I think it’s awesome that we’re opening up and sharing what happened to us. Not everyone is at the point that they want to share their story though. The details of their trauma belong to them, and not to you, or to anyone who sees their #MeToo tweet. The responsibility is not on women to detail the many minutiae of how we have been made to feel uneasy, afraid, or hurt.

It is amazing that some women are in the place to share their experiences. I, and many others, aren’t.

All you get is #MeToo. Don’t ask for more. I’ll share when I want to.